I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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