Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
