Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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