he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
