I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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