new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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