at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
