the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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