she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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