I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
a search helicopter?!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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