Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
