As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Don't EVER smell your tampon
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
