She said her name was "party"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
