I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i believe in u and ur pee
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
