these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
