Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
