If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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