i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
