Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
