Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
