I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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