omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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