Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize