I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
