that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
