If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
