She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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