well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
