just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
