you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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