YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My vagina is very pro this idea
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