My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
