No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize