i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
