I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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