New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
