You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
