He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
