she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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