i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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