North Korea, Best Korea!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
