All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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