I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
