I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
