she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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