Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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