dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
