.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
