My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
