I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
