Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
