Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Vodka?
Forever.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
