he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
