I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
