i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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