Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
