and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
