Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
