He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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