Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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