i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
