Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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