Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
