Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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