Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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